Ikea Insanity
Opening
We open as Nathan is chowing down on the dead leader's leg
Circeth has opted to join, unhinging their jaw and eats his other leg.
Katrina and Ken look on in bewilderment as this goes on. She approaches and Nathan and Circeth introduce themselves.
Usagi asks Skab who Katrina is, he replies she's the boss. Katrina walks to Usagi and they get acquainted.
Usagi asks about Katrina's adventuring company, and about Moki. Katrina narrows her eyes and questions who's asking.
Usagi explains she's Moki's roommate and that she's expected back in a few days.
Katrina explains Moki's constant movement and how she's technically part of the company, and how things have been happening non-stop, hence why Moki hasn't been able to communicate.
Green tells the party that there's a leyline below the mall and that Cryptoman wants to exploit it.
The party momentarily laments about capitalism.
The party opts to join the company and Katrina offers the group a job. We're told to pick up some modern office furniture as the business needs to look professional.
Katrina gives us keys to a green pickup in the parking lot to Usagi. Of the party, only Circeth can drive. Katrina immediately regrets this and offers to drive us instead -- instead of the high dragonborn. Nathan takes shotgun, Usagi and Circeth sit in the bed of the truck.
In about 10-20 minutes, the party pulls up to an Ikea and the gang gets out, split up and head inside.
Usagi is fixated by the arrow lights on the floor, and finds a table. She tries to move it on her own but knocks some items over, alerting an employee, who is white, bald, and too happy to be here, who tells her to go to the storage area to pick the table up. She goes
Nathan browses the shelves and lighting areas. He opens and closes that one fancy lamp that opens like a puzzle As it opens, the light illuminates the surrounding area, eventually illuminating a white man with a bald head whose way too happy to be here. He asks if Nathan's interested in the lamp. He replies he wants 7 of them.
Circeth examines the beds and lays down on one. They sink into bed and sink in a little. What they don't notice is that the blankets come to surround them. They are jolted back and the bed reverts to normal. After this, they are approached by an employee, a bald, white man who is too happy to be here, who asks what they're looking for. They respond they're looking to buy in bulk. The man directs them to the storage area.
Katrina hops to check out the tables and chairs
As they all make their way to the storage area, Usagi and Nathan look around aimlessly for what they want Circeth has found what they're looking for and are picking up a concerning quantity.
As the party does this, they overhear a conversation about barstools and how they're classy but hurt their ass to sit on. This goes on loop. Nathan hears this the closest.
Circeth, despite not hearing what was being said, approaches the sounds of bickering to find a single man with 3 heads. The heads are shaped like dogs and have black fur. They look upon a row of fully assembled barstools.
The two converse. As they do, Nathan approaches silently to listen in and introduces himself to the creature, who introduces themself as Cir.
Usagi has climbed the shelves almost to the top and sees a Loxodon, who when called out to, doesn't respond and actively tries to leave.
As this happens, the group senses an anomaly coming on.
Nathan detects magic, and notes that Cir is radiating magic. There is also a feeling of the entire room is magical, though not the furniture.
Circeth motions for us to leave, and as we do, we hear one of Cir's barstools topple over, and a box falls in front of Circeth. Nathan carries his lamps.
The group continues toward the exit. Nathan hears shuffling and shoots where he hears. Nothing is there.
Usagi runs out, Circeth walks, and Nathan covers their 6.
As the party approaches the exit, they feel a tremor and hear the sound of rumbling from the shelves as more and more boxes tumble onto the floor. Usagi pulls Nathan and Circeth. As this happens, Nathan drops his lamps. As the lamps hit the floor, they break free of their boxes and form a lamp hydra which chases the party to the exit.
The party, around 20ft from the exit, dashes out the door, allowing Cir to slam it on the hydra, cutting its heads off.
To the party's dismay, as they look out from the exit, they see the endless halls of an Ikea.
Nathan grabs one of the lamps, moves it away, and casts mending on it only for it to form into a monster and attack him. Usagi gives him sanctuary and Nathan shifts to slash at the lamp, destroying it.